I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i think i have herpe
just one?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she told me i tasted like america
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
