Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
