She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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