Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.

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29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.

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(954): View more from Florida

I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window

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(619): View more from California

yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances

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(609): View more from New Jersey

He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!

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