look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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