Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
