So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
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I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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