Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize