WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
