Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
