I'm lost and stupid without you.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm too high and old for this...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
