We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
