Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize