TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize