Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize