I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
