If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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