How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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