Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize