Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
