You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
