btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
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we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
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They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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