he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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