I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize