she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize