i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize