Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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