this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
