I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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