OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
