i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You were trust falling into bushes
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
