I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
