Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
