I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
