This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
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The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
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I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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