I wanna passion pit in your ass
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
