are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
