I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
