You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I could fuck to npr.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
