I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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