what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i think im in europe. pls send help
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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