okay pat passed out under dana's car
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
OPIZZABONMYDICK
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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