I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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