We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize