is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
