One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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