Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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