i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
