Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
