Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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