Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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