you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
