Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
