Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
