my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
