dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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