her vagine was all disorganized.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
