i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
