Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
