guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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