so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
