oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My vagina is officially offended.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
At least life still wants to fuck me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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